#464 Rants and Miss

It's the holidays and I miss college.
I hate being at home;
Being near my family.
Even if I don't show much these past few months
But I feel like I'm suffering everytime I'm with them.
I always get scolded or screamed at.
The fault is always, always mine.
If things didn't go so well,
It's my fault is mine and no one else.
If someone feels like screaming,
They always find me to scream at.

I always have to bite
Back my tongue and not
Lash out words that are coated with poison.
But why should I do that?
If I'm not at fault,
Why must I keep quiet?

The answer is simply, really.
I need their money.
I bite back my words.. for money.
I stop myself for screaming back... for money.
Yes, I do those for money
And when I'm able to get out of this
God damn family,
Not even Hell will be able to bring me back here.
I can't wait, damn it, I can't.

I miss them people.
I miss college.
I miss being able to get out of this house.
I miss those and I can't wait for the next semester to come.

Not even Hell will be able to bring me back here.