#287 Control

Yes, I have the urge to take my scissors right now and
Cut my bloody ugly fringe
Then take it and stab myself in the heart.

That's how pissed off at my hair at times (:

Another week of school,
Another week of exams.
I kinda feel guilty for not cramming stupid
History in my head.
I mean I understand but I need to know
All the damn facts which I find annoying.

Somehow,
Most of my friends tend to find me...
Cheerful?
Maybe it's because they don't know
The hideous monster lurking inside me.
The monster that laughs at every mistake I've done,
Every single flaw I have in me.
Yet,
Somehow,
I feel like I'm that monster.
Laughing at my own flaws.
My every wrong move,
Every wrong path.
NOPE (:
They don't know that.
A couple know that I tend to keep things in my heart.
But they don't know the rest of me.
The ugly side of me, I guess.

I know I get moved easily.
Still working on that.
Working on my stupid emotions.
I won't let them control me 
And yet, I will control them.

Currently struggling to discipline myself
To go have my bath and study my stupid history.
I'm proud to say that I've finished two malay essays today
In a shot.
Read half my history but haven finished my english homework.
But what's the point of doing it?
I feel rather lazy and all that stupid crap.

If I jump, will you catch me?
Or will you jump and together we soar in the sky. (: