#412 Burden

My cousin's niece.
Ain't she a cutie?

I've been thinking too much lately.
Seriously.

There is so many times on how I wish
My work will be noticed or something.
I mean,
I may not get likes in my facebook
Nor many favs in my Deviantart
But so many damn times,
I just wish;
Wish that people will start noticing on my work,
Telling me on how should I change and all.
It's so much better than being ignored and such.

I'm a nobody after all (:
No one will notice how I actually feel.
And my work are nothing but just trash
That I hold treasure in my heart.
No.
Other people will treasure and praise
Others on their artwork.
I'm feeling a bit envious here,
I won't lie about that.

Sometimes,
I wonder why I even bother to do such things.
Things like writing novels,
Short stories about my dreams,
Drawings on how I actually felt,
Poems that are from the deep cut in my heart.
Why?
Is it to just let everything out in a different way?
I wonder.
Why can't other people just see my work and
Tell me wonderful things or even try to correct me!?
Why?

I'm being thoughtless and selfish here.
No matter.
My feelings are mine to keep
And others to be deceived with.
My words that have formed into sentences,
Poems and stories are mine to read.
From now on,
It shall be Me, Myself and I.
No other people.
No anyone else.

I often wonder how is it like to be popular among others.
I know it's stressful for having the upkeep
But will I be a victim or I'll be the bully?
Why can't people stop misunderstanding me
And my actions?
I have reasons for the actions I do.
I might do something rash
But I'm human.
I'm not perfect.
I make mistakes.

Why don't others once see me as a good guy
Instead of a black sheep among the whites?
See?
This is why I watch anime or play games on my phone
Or distract myself with other stuff.
If not, I tend to think too much like now.
The songs I'm listening  aren't helping either.
Gosh.
I'm such an emo queen. (:

I'm sorry for having such an emo post though.
It's so me (:
I'm ruining my own mood here
So I shall go watch ONE PIECE.
HELL YEAH!
One of the anime where I actually laugh at the screen
And giggle like an idiot.
I'm off.
I'm done thinking about others and I shall be more
Selfish from now on.
I shall think of me, me, me and ME only.
That way, I might be able to survive this cruel world.
With my own poems and stories as my guides and pasts.

OFF TO ONE PIECE!