#377 Seriously?

I'm having mixed feelings.
Fuck.
I don't know if I should be sad or pissed off or what.
I mean.
I don't know what I mean.
Dammit.

Reading back the posts,
I've come to an understatement
That I was such a depressing bitch.
Someone who hovers over the depths of
The past.
But then again,
I can't be taking all the blame.

It takes two hands to clap.

Some what,
You're involved in this deep shit as much as I am.
I used to wonder if things will go the way
It should be.
But,
Knowing how naive I was,
Deep down,
I knew it'll never be the same.

Wounds may heal but scars won't.

And I knew I've deeply scared you
With all my jealousies, furies and words
I've thrown heartlessly at you.
Hey,
I ain't apologizing here.
Why should I?
I did no wrong... yet.
Actions may speak louder than words
But it's the feelings that matters most.

Seriously,
There are always reasons to human actions.
And I strongly believe that they did it
For their own particular reasons.
We just have to shut out mouth and open our ears.

Oh yeah.
It just dawned to me
That you'll never forgive me, eh?
Well.
I should be on my guard then (:
Knowing you may strike any time soon.
Maybe not here,
Maybe not now
But it'll come.
Soon.

God,
I remember now how badly I wanted to hurt you.
Fuck.
Haha.
I was so naive.
So the table has turned
And you're on the top and I'm at the bottom.
The small conversations might be hints of
Plotting against me?

Well now,
Like I said,
I must be on my guard and look out for things.
Damn.
I don't understand now why I was so worried
About that thing.
Haha.
It just snap and came to me.
OF COURSE!
The paranoid feelings I get,
It might come true.
After all,
You will never be able to forgive me (:

Salright,
I can live with that.

Haha, you know what?
I'm going to give you a bow;
My hat is tip down for you.
Life took a funny twist (:
I don't understand why I was trying so
Hard to win your forgiveness.
I'm so fucking naive.
I feel like laughing so hard at my foolishness right now.
Fucking naive little bitch.

Oh wells,
I'm going off now.
China and plane trip.
Don't wait for me.

Wounds may heal but scars can't.