#60 A Simple Yet Understanding[?] Letter

Dear You Know Who,
I've read and re-read your message for about five times now.
And frankly, I have nothing to say.
Somehow,
I think that something, somewhere around us has just changed.
I tried to put on a happy face where ever I go,
But the person I've always talked to,
Seems to know better than that.

Yes,
I do know that I've clam myself up.
I always do that when I want nothing to go wrong.
Please don't think that I don't want to talk to you.
But I felt like you have...
Replaced me so quickly.
When I'm feeling sad not to mention angry.

I've talked to Rittie on a fine day.
And after talking to her I felt...
Fine.
But somehow,
It didn't last long enough.

I want things to go back the ways it was.
Before you've met...
Him?

I felt cast aside,
Thrown out,
Pushed away.
I felt nothing but sadness,
Despair,
Angry,
Filled with hatred.

You said that I look very happy around other people.
That is utterly bullshit.
Yes, I may look happy.
But inside, I'm rotting with pain.
I tried forgetting everything,
But the thing is,
When ever I'm alone,
Which is often,
I'll think about it.

It's true I did not cry over it.
But instead, I got angry.
Very angry.
My mother has no sympathy over me.
She even said cruelly to me
That I'm already 16 and yet,
I have no friends around me.
Maybe what she said is right,
About every single Goddamn thing.

How often I wished things would be back the way they are.
If forgetting me makes you feel happy.
Go ahead.
I'll be fine...

Kimberly