#63 Friend Or Fraud?

Please, I've gone through alot.
I've don't want things to go bad.
Thanks, ily,
I have a feeling I know who you are.

You've talked to me last night,
Asking me to explain myself.
Yes,
And I did.
And when I've found out
Why did you make friends with me in the first place.
Imagine,
If i told you,
I've made friends with you,
Just because I felt pity for you.

How the Hell do you think how I feel?
Because of the conversation last night,
It has left me wide awake.
The things I would do to make it better.

You just don't understand do you?
You said that I sound like I don't want it to be
Fucking better.
If I don't want it to be better,
WHY DID THE FUCK DO I BOTHER TO LET THESE
FUCKING THINGS IN MIND EVERYDAY!?

I'm sorry for exploding.
Somehow,
I think the world is against me.
I have not run out of things to say.
But if I say it out now,
You'll be hurt,
And that makes matters worst.

Okay,
Since I've known you,
I felt jealous of you.
Guys sworn you like ants over sugar.
Yes.
I've felt lonely.
I tried being in your convo with them,
But that was something I shouldn't have done.
It was useless.
You said you've cared for me.
You said I did not care for you.
THAT IS FUCKING BULLSHIT!
I tried to make things better.

I even...
Ask Huiyee to ask Syann
Why didn't she invite you to her party.
I didn't want you to be left out!
And you call that not caring.
Yes,
I've a different way to prove it.

Oh puh-lese,
You said you known me better.
I'm the kind that doesn't say sorry.
The kind that doesn't forgive and forget.
Remember the incident when we're form one?
The one that Andrea did?
I still haven forgotten about it.
I still have hatred in her.
Maybe not as much as before,
But there is still.

You've said sorry a couple of times.
And suddenly,
You wanted to talk to me about this.
Don't you think it's a bit rush?
At least,
You have people around you
You could talk to.
Even if I have people to talk to,
It's not like I'll tell them everything.

My mom doesn't know the half of my life.
You've hurt me last year.
I don't know how,
But it went smoothly,
Better.

In spite of everything,
I felt stupid.
So stupid.
There are so many time how
I wish I could walk up to you
And started talking to you
Like everything is better.
But, I don't have the guts to do it.

Sometimes,
I even wondered,
Why do you really want to make friends with me?
Everyone despite me.
Isn't it better off without me?
Without the girl whom
Does nothing but make you angry,
Sad,
Or even pissed off.

You have so many people around you.
Why did you even bothered
To talk to me?
I'm such a bitch.
I'm pretty sure you'll hate me,
After reading this damn post.

Everything around me is stupid.
Everyday,
I came home from school.
No one to talk to.
I hide in my room all day,
Thinking why did this happen?

My cousin told me to not
Think too much about this.
But somehow,
I couldn't.
Not until I settle this fucking thing.

I want to save you,
I need you,
To save e too...