#114 Don't Let Go Of My Hand

I tried and tried and tried to be there for everyone.
One by one,
I've been pushed away.
And I'm very sick about it!

I may show that I don't care.
But I really do care.
About everything.
And I've realized that you get so worked up easily.
Just a single sentence and you get pissed off.

I read.
Because I love too?
And because reading makes me forget my surroundings.
It'll bring me into the fantasy world.

I know you'll always be there for me to talk too.
And I know you understand me.
Not to mention keep my secrets.
Having an imaginary friend seriously rocks!

If life is so hard,
Is death any easier?

#113 Sasuke-kun

OMGEEE!!!
I freakingly love Sasuke!
[No offense, Leon]
He's cool.
He's mysterious.
He's my number one favorite ninja!
By the way,
That picture.
Is my background!

Why can't Naruto load any faster?
I wanna watch Sasuke!
Destroy the Leaf Village, Sasuke!
Destroy everyone!

Sometime you asked yourself,
Why isn't life interesting enough?
Or is it because of me?
Well dear readers.
It's because of 'me'.

He's mysterious

#112 I Understand

Various blogs I've been through.
I understand how do they feel most of the time.
Mainly it's because I was there personally to experience it.

I know how does it feel to be invisible.
I know how does it feel to be left out.
Kicked out.
Pushed out.
Ignored.

I could just close my eyes
And I could remember the painful feeling in me.
I know I'm emo.
But emo people has feelings too!
Strong people like Jesslyn.
Eventually they'll fall to.
Just because they don't have the helping hand of a friend.

Popularity.
Because of that,
People left those who are not popular.
What's the point?
Being popular is not ALL THAT!
You won't have a TRUE friend in sight.
Only those FAKEs that wants to become popular too.

Relationships.
Why must you change?
Just because you think relationships are so damn important?
That you have forget your friends around you?
And when you broke up.
You turn to your former friend.
Hoping they would listen to you.
But you're too late.
You're too Goddamn late.

Hope.
It's not like it'll change anything.
What's the point of me writing all these down?
It's not like it'll even make a difference.
Leon,
Help us all.

Kicked out
Pushed out
Ignored

#111 Imaginary

He held my hand and guided me through my life.
Never for once letting me go.
He'll sit by me.
Listen quietly to me.
Giving me advice.
He's always there to comfort me.
He would be a great boyfriend.
If only he wasn't
Imaginary!

Yes.
Lo and behold.
I have an imaginary friend.
You may ask me why.
Here's why.
When there isn't anyone whom I can talk to.
Whom will listen to me.
I'll always go to him.
And hear him consult me.
Tell him my secrets.
Tell him about school.
Friends.
the way people treat other people.
He knows alot of things.
He sees lots of things.
His name?

Leon

#110 Dreams Are For Rookies

I got the title from Hercules.
Meg said that to Herc.

We seek wisdom from other people.
We misused their wisdom.
I hate Hitler.
Ok,
That was random.

Lately,
I've been having these dreams
That left me feeling uneasy.
I want to type it down,
But I have no clue where to start.
It felt so real,
My dream.
I can actually touch him and felt
His warmth on me.

Enough about an imaginary
[But feels very real] guy.
Sometimes,
When you have a dream you just don't want to let it go?
And hope in vain that it'll repeat itself?
I have those kind of hope.
False hope is what they called it.
Who's they you may ask.
I don't know!

Here's a very lame conversation.
"Hey, Kim. Wake up already!"
"Mmm... Mom? I was dreaming when you woke me up."
"So?"
"Next time, wait for the commercials."

Here's another one:
"Kim, call the waiter."
"I can't dad,"
"Why?"
"I don't have his phone number!"

Dreams are for rookies

#109 Words

Dark glasses are cool!
I went out to have dinner with my dad's cousin's sister in law[?]
Just now.
She came all the way from Japan to have a holiday here.
Her daughter is so cute!
Although she's shy,
She still plays with me.
Ultra cute!
Wish I have a picture of her.
Damn.

What I want to talk about is:
Words.
First of all.
I tend to say this to people who just got scolded.
Words don't mean anything unless you want them too.
That's my favorite quote.

I try to ignore whatever people say about me.
Yes, try.
But I got backfired today.

Wanna hear bout it?
If you don't,
All you have to do is to click that square button on the
Top right of your page.

Both of my friends were talking to me today.
They were telling me about their sleeping problems.
I tried to make a joke out of it
But it seems like I'm the only one who got it.
When I want to tell them how I slept,
They got up and walk off.
Leaving me saying whatever I want to say in mid sentence.
At first I was stunned.
When I came to my sense,
I have to say I was more on the sad than the angry part.

I was there to hear them complain.
I was there to comfort them.
I was there to give them advice when they needed one.
But when I want to have a chat with them.
They got up.
And walk off.

Imagine if you're at my position.
And when you have something desperate to talk about,
I got up,
Give you the
Look-I-Don't-Want-To-Listen-To-You look
And just walk away.
How would you freaking feel!?

Words.
Some mean nothing to me.
Some mean something to me.
Most of them are meaningless.

When a man meets a force he can't destroy,
He destroy himself instead.

#108 A Night Without Sleep

Man!
Naruto sure loads really slowly.
It's almost 4 and I'm still not asleep.
Cool huh?

Not much to write here though.
And mosquitoes are starting to bite!
There's nothing nice to watch on tv!
I wish Teen Titans are on right now.
Instead it's The Thornberrys.
Weird huh?

Oh my God!
Huiling is online right now!
That is so COOL!
Chatting with her right now!
[Finally some one to chat with!]

It's almost 4

#107 Determination

I am determine to stay up all night until the next morning.
Right now,
I can't keep my eyes open.
What I need is some sleep.
I think...

Thank God
People invented mosquito spray!
I'm mosquito free right now and it rawks.
Big time!

I know I am crapping.
But what to do?
I sacrifice my sleep in order to watch Naruto.
See how loyal I am?
Wait.
Self praise is no praise!
Damn.
Quick!
Somebody call me loyal! :)

Might blog later.
It seems like it's only 10pm.
When it's 2.10am!
Weird.
But cool.

See how loyal I am?

#106 Shadow Blender

I, Kimberly Too Shin Wei,
Shall reveal a secret.
It's a secret that even a secret don't know about it.
I...
Blend into shadows.
I...
Work for a company.
A company so secret[which now isn't]
That only secret people like me knows
[Which is very little]
Under Cover Agents
[UCA for short]
I...
Can blend into the shadow!
[Gasp people! Gasp!]

Right now,
As you know,
I can blend into the shadow.
It may sound cool,
But trust me.
It's tiring!

There other among us.
Other that you may not know of.
Others...
That have a secret identity.
I am allowed to reveal myself
Because I was stripped of from my powers.
A cooperation called
The Power Strippers
[TPS for short]
Are scouting all around the world right now,
Finding people that works under my former secret company.

UCA,
Keep a look out for the TPS.
I'm sending my pet,
[Which you've heard of before]
Freddy Todd The Flying Turtle,
To alert all UCAs.
Be safe!

Kimberly,
Member of the UCA

#105 Evil Child

I couldn't wake up to watch Naruto today.
Was really tired.
Looking back at things right now,
I feel my life has worsen.
I've lost hope in every single thing.
What's the point of doing things when I know I'll get it wrong?

Mom called me and evil child.
I can't blame her for calling me that.

"Kim, I thought you say you hate her?
Why are you still talking to her?"
"You don't know what's going in my mind.
People said always wear a mask over your face.
That's what I am doing."
"You're so evil!"
"Why, thank you :)"

I've said it before and I WILL say it again,
Don't believe every single word I say.
It MIGHT not be true.
But then again,
It MIGHT be true.
It's all entirely up to you to trust or not to trust me.
Don't make the wrong decisions,
I would LOVE to see you fall.

Mom called me an evil child

#104 Home Alone

Once again,
I've been put down.
I'm getting really tired about it.
Right now,
I'm home alone
Cause I do not want to go to my cousin's house.
It's such a drag!

Went to One Utama with mom and sis today.
Mom constantly have mood swings
And I fucking hate it!
She kept on ruining my mood
And she never kept to her damn promises.

She promised me she'll get me pants and shirts.
Instead,
She fucking forgotten bout it!
And I have no mood to talk to her at all.
Yes,
I'm pissed off!

Argh!
Now,
I have to ask my sister to lend me
Some of her pants!
Stupid !@#$%^&*()!!!!!!

Constantly have mood swings

#103 Under The Mask

It's been more than one hour since I've come online.
Time sure pass really fast when I'm bored...
Or watching tv.
Heh.
But,
Naruto haven done loading!
Gah!
I've been on the same page for 3days now!
And I would really like to get on with it!
Ah,
Naruto!
I beg of you!
Please load faster?
-Checks the web page-
Cool!
My prayer has been answered!

Gah!

#102 Vampire

It 2.35am and I'm wide awake.
I'm sure you'll be thinking.
What?
I went to bed at 2.25am!
The thing is,
I slept at 11pm just so I could wake up real early.

My dad just passed by,
I figured he would want me to get back to bed,
But all he did was just smile and said goodnight to me.
Huh.
That's really weird.
But cool at the same time.

Oh man!
I have tuition at 9 later,
And I haven done my homework.
Maybe I'll just give the excuse of not bringing my book.
Heh,
Go Naruto!
Faster load ya damn thing! :)

I'm wide awake

#101 You Bring The Witch Out Of Me

Mom's sick.
I'm pissed.
And there isn't any shit I can do about it.
So what else is new?

I told my mom that life is stupid.
That I wanted to die.
She just shut up and stared at the tv.
6 days of stoning at home.
6 days of boredom.
6 days...
And still counting.

Milkie just went home.
Two things I did this morning with Milkie was:
Wipe her pee [She pees alot]
And Let her happily bite my fingers.
She sleeps alot too.
Thank God she did not peed at my mom's carpet.

Somehow right now,
I really want to smash things up.
To break things.
I feel energized yet tired.
Not to mention pissed off.
Ah!
Just put me out of my miserable life,
Will ya?

So, what else is new?

#100 Hair Raising Experience

Somehow,
I feel so fucked up.
Not really sure why
But yeah.

Just came back from a hair cut.
Not really happy with the results though.
The hairstylist say I can do a Mohawk
Behind my fringe.
The first thing that came to me was,
C0ol!
I can be a female version of Sasuke!

I couldn't wake up this morning to watch Naruto.
Fuck it.
You know what?
I feel very fucked up right now.
So don't blame me for swearing alot.
Pissed off.

Fucked up

#99 Awkward

Who says wearing glasses won't make the wearer look hawt!?
Haha,
Was just kidding.
Anyways,
Both Marissa and SueJean came over just now.
Marissa brought Milkie and
Milkie reminds me of dear Jerry when he's a pup!
Anyways,
It was...
Rather...
Awkward.

I have to entertain both of them.
And they don't really talk to each other.
At.
All.

Truthfully,
I didn't want one of them to come.
But,
Hey,
I can't say no to both right?
And,
I'm not going to say out the name.
That'll be...
So unlike me.
Heh.

But,
I'm a nice girl.
What to do?

Having a minor headache now.
Have to take Panadoll later if it worsen.

Awkward

#98 Badminton

Went for badminton yesterday.
It was alright.
Coach kept on praising me.
[Yay]
He said I got badminton skills.
[Hell yeah!]
Badminton was great,
But really tiring.
My whole right side ache now.
Yes,
Including my ass.
Even my thumb hurts.
That's what I get for not stretching,
I guess.
Slept at 10 last night.
Due to exhaustion.

Was let down again today.
I was suppose to go One Utama with a friend today.
Turns out her dad didn't let her.
I don't feel like going anyway.
Too sore.
I had trouble holding things yesterday.
My hand 'lost' control of my muscles.
Tend to drop things easily.

I hope Huiyee can make it tomorrow,
Really want to get out of the house.

Badminton was great

#97 Flying Money

I've finally got Fade!
And realized I've blew RM102 in a week's time.
But, hey
If you want something.
Try getting it yourself.

Anyways,
Woke up at 5 this morning without knowing why exactly.
I know that I can't sleep.
Pathetic isn't it?
From today onwards,
I shall learn to control the urge of buying anymore books.
The holidays are so boring,
Mom enroll me into a badminton club thingy,
Says I can waste all my energy there
And it's gonna start today.
I' m kinda nervous!
Well,
Who wouldn't be?

I wouldn't say I'm mad at you,
I would say I'm pissed at you!
Well,
Whatever.
It's none of my concern!

Blew RM102 in a week's time

#96 Other Side

That picture is kinda weird,
Looks like there are two om me.
One the real,
The other looks like she's giving the
I'm-coming-to-get-you smile!
This picture kinda reminds me of a movie called,
The Mirror.

Anyways,
There isn't school today.
[Duh]
And I'm sitting here feeling really bored.
Ah, Naruto,
Faster load, yo!

I'm coming to get you -smiles-

#95 Of All People, It Has To Be You!

I've slept through out the whole afternoon.
Right now,
I don't feel sleepy.
Just bored.

Not only that,
I don't have the mood to write my story.
Yes, I'm rather sorry to say that.

I really want to get Fade!
I'm itching to walk to MPH at One Utama
Just so I could buy that book!
But the stores are closed.
There is so much things I'd like to write,
But time is running out.
I have to go.

Time is running out

#94 ADHD

Are you happy now that you always get what you want?
All that whining and complaining finally paid off, huh?
Or maybe that's your specialty.
Or you just put on your ultra innocent face
And beg
And beg
And beg!
Where is your discipline!?

My family went out for dinner with a couple of Japanese.
Normally I would want to go,
But I was feeling really sick.
So I stayed home.

Right now I'm waiting for Naruto to load.
I feel so lifeless!
It's like taking forever!
Damn these mosquitoes!
They're biting the living shit out of me!

ADHD!
I can't seem to read properly these days.
I tend to read it wrongly.
Not only that,
I kept on feeling restless.
Why can't something exciting happen to me?
I'd like to go on an adventures,
Have my life on the line,
[Got that quote from Naruto]
Seeking out hidden treasures
And all that stuff.
Instead,
I'm stuck at home,
Talking to myself for there isn't anyone else to talk to.

ADHD

#93 Put A Sock In It

The more I think about it,
The more angrier I've become.
Just because you're different,
Doesn't mean you MUST get attention all the time!

Don't ever think you're all that!
'Cause you'll never ever be!

Pathetic

#92 Self Pity

Most people I know tend to ask me
Why must I be so...
Tough/tomboy.
I replied them,
"Because I don't want people to think I'm a weakling,
And I'm not one!"

I hate to pity myself,
It makes me feel like a loser.
I know I tend to say I'm lonely and all that,
That is not self pitying,
That is just a statement,
A fact.

Why must you pity yourself
When you can try and make things right?
Listen to yourself whining and crying the whole time.
Doesn't it bore you?
Stop sitting down there and cry
Like you're some pathetic victim.

Just shut up and do something about it,
Will ya?

Pathetic victim

#91 3 In The Morning

Woke up at 3 in the morning to prove my dad I can wake up
That early.
Slept at 1 this morning,
Due to a book that I find it hard to put down.
It's called Wake.
Have to go MPH soon to buy the next book.
Fade.

I spent the whole hour doing nothing but wait for Naruto to load.
Yeah,
Back to the Naruto crazed.
Anyways,
My mom doesn't know that I woke up that early.
Let's keep this a secret!
I'm off to watch Naruto.

Fade

#90 Speaker

The base

Finally!
I got my very own speaker in my room!
It not only have radio,
But I can plug in my MP4!
Sweet!
Dad bought it for me when he was at Bangkok.
I listen to it every single day!

Anyways,
I went through my letters I found in my drawer.
So many past memories.
So many good memories.
I missed them all so much.

Sweet

#89 Exams

Exams ended today.
And I felt relieved.
I think I'm going to fail my history.

There isn't much to talk about.
But lately,
I've been thinking.
Why is my life always so depressing?
Isn't there anyone whom can help me?
No,
I do not want those kind of people whom offered
Yet I don't wanna talk to it to them.
It's just a waste of time.

Should I start to ignore people?
Should I erase my memory of those whom I hate?
Everyone is turning their backs on me.
Walking away from like I have some kind of disease.
I had had enough of this nonsense!

I may not be as pretty as other girls,
Nor as athletic or smart.
But I fight for myself!
No matter if it is right or wrong,
I fight for it.
I don't give up easily
And I never, ever give up THAT easily.

Erase my memories of those whom I hate

#88 Sports Day

I started to tie my hair up
Due to the damn weather.
It's kinda ugly.
I'm ugly!

Anyways,
Had sports day yesterday [5/2/10]
It was hot
And fun?
Enjoy these pictures!























Sports day