#402 Afterwards

Just ate dinner and am sitting alone in my room...

Crying.

#401 June Baby

JUNE =FINENESS

Fun to be with. Loves to try new things. Boy/girls LOVE you. You are very popular. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes-rep pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. spazzy at times.Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

Wow. It's kind of true. The highlighted parts are though.

I'm a June Baby.

#400 Four Hundred

Yay! It's my four hundredth post (:

That's my nephew by the way.

Ain't he a cutie?

I'm not here to talk about my nephew though.

I'm going to contaminate this post by writing about you, skank.

I don't understand what is going on in that

Thick skull of yours.

In pain, she is but you just can't open your damn eyes, can you?

Nope.

You're too busy doing your stuff.

Having this mind set that you're always right and shit.

You can't be described as bitch,

You're by far worst than a bitch.

And what's being worst than a bitch?

A whore.

You knew.

I know you know.

And yet you still do it.

Why is that?

You're being heartless.

You're being cold.

Your mask is coming undone

And I could not wait for your real face to reveal.

But patience is a virtue.

The greater the sacrifice, the greater the reward.

It is not I whom is able to see the person

Whom you really are.

But others too.

Got distracted for a really long time

But that's not the point.

I'm going to warn you one last time, skank,

That if you keep up the way you are right now,

Damn, you're going to regret.

Like seriously.

Regret.

I wish I could be pretty.

Looking at other people's facebook pictures

Reminds me how ugly I am.

I'm one ugly bitch and I know it.

My cousin and I are planning to go to gym

Twice every week.

As soon as I move and all.

I can't wait to hit the gym!

Off to watch Naruto.

This anime inspires me alot.

Sasuke-kun ♥

#399 Von

Von.
My wonderful cousin.
I couldn't resits posting this up.
She's one heck of an awesome cousin.
She...
You have to meet her to know her.

I'm glad to have a cousin like her (:

#398 Deep Down

Start watching at 4:29 (:
Then continue watching the next episode.

I knew deep down in me, I feel the bitterness too.

#397 Confidence

Work started and I feel abit lazy to go.
I mean,
I miss waking up early in the morning and to find no one at home.
Camwhoring until the sun is high up in the sky.
Minding my own business.

Ahh, the sweet sweet life.

I'm having this sudden urge to do maths and add maths.
It's crazy.
After all, I'm not really an add maths person
And I suck in add maths.

Was having a reunion dinner with my cousin today.
It was... a little bit depressing.
We are all comparing ourselves.
Who is fat and all.
And guess who won first prize?
Correct.
Me.
I'm fat.

Whatever now.
I am who I wish to be (:
No one will drag me down. :D

But honestly,
I wish I could be someone that is:
Beautiful.
Sexy.
Confident.

But I have to face reality.
And reality hurts alot.
For the person that is looking back at me
Through a mirror
Is someone so not confident.
Someone that tends to slug her shoulder,
Trying to hide herself away from the world.
And worst off,
That someone is me.
And I look so... ugly.

Watched the lastest episode of Naruto the other night.
He sat infront of  a waterfall that
Reflects the inner him.
The inner him was bitter and filled with anger.
His hatred towards the villagers
And how they treated him in the past for
Being different and having great power in him.
The Dark Naruto then stepped out of the waterfall
And explained to Naruto,
Telling him that he is Naruto's inner feelings.
Naruto couldn't accept him
He then fought with his dark side.
Using every moves he know.
Yet the dark him is a total mirror of him
Therefor, their strengths are equal.
Naruto then opened his eyes
And his dark side was gone.
But he knew deep down he was bitter with everyone.

Naruto then found a way to conquer his bitterness.
He learnt to trust himself before having others
To place their trust in him.
He became more confident and he explained to his dark side.
His dark side wouldn't accept it and ran to punch Naruto
But Naruto intercepted him by giving his dark side a hug.
And he told his dark side that he is willing be more
Confident in himself.
And to forgive the villagers in his past
And to look forward to the future.
His dark side then dispersed as he trully forgave himself.
Will post up the video on my next post (:
It gave me confidence in myself.

Naruto is an awesome anime
For it reflects my life and it teaches me at the same time.

That's it for now.
I have work tomorrow
And I'm planning to watch some animes
Before sleeping.
Goodnight (:

Naruto is an awesome anime.

#396 Another Day

I'm rather bored right now.
Going to work tomorrow.
Woe me.
I kind of don't look forward for it
But I kind of do too.
I mean,
The money man!

I love my hair color!
It's red...
Under the sun that is.

Gosh.
SPM results are in March 22nd.
I can't wait.
I figured 3 months break is a little bit too long
For people like me.
I want my results and I kept on thinking
That it's Feb.
Where else it's only January.

Time,
Please move a little bit faster!

A simple smile will made my day.

#395 Immature Slut

Curtains have been lowered and you're no longer
Under the spotlight.
You're off stage.
Why?
You've let a few words slipped from that mouth of yours.
Everyone heard it.
Too bad.

You're a major slut, you know?
Just because you could take a few good shots
And you start calling yourself
A wonderful pro camera person.
If you're so pro,
Why the hell did you ask me to take pictures
Since I'm a cacat camera person.
I can't please the whole world
And I certainly don't want to waste my time pleasing you, slut.

Immature,
Childish,
Child-like brain.
I'm kind of sensitive towards those words.
Because I've been called those for quite a while
And it sickens me.
So what if I'm immature?
Call the cops and send me in to jail then.
It's illegal to be immature, after all.
Hey, being immature is far better than being a
Slut.

Seriously?
Gossiping about me to my sister?
What the hell?
Who's being immature now?

You're wasting my time and energy.
Stupid duck-lips girl.

And yeah,
I'm fat.
So what?
Stop telling me that.
I bloody know, okay?
Look at yourself first before looking at me.
Maybe your boobs are so huge,
It's covering those fats that lies underneath.
Or you might think your fats are your boobs.

You can be nice.
But you can me mean.
Like I am right now.
And don't go gossiping about my sister to me.
It's sickening.


Cheerio. Slut.

#394 Irony

Hah.

I'm surprise it took quite a while for her to finally open her eyes;

To see who you really are.

The side of you that is cloaked with darkness,

The side where you hide in your invisible cloak. 

You build walls around friends and 

You refused to let them in through your small metal door

Which you've locked up so tightly with a golden key of yours.

You're afraid.

Afraid of letting others see this side of you.

The one that I've saw.

Who is building walls now?

Well,

I remembered quite clearly you threw those words at me,

Me, building high walls and shielding you off.

Pfft.

Hypocrite much?

Unconsciously,

Your walls were breached unnoticed

And those who cared or cares noticed that side of you.

The one that you've locked up tightly.

It's kind of like a second personality.

An entire different one from your usual one.

You're funny, you know that?

Extremely funny.

Tables have turned once again and I'm no longer alone.

Others have finally seen what I've saw

And better yet,

Felt what I felt last time.

Sure,

It was bitterness but it has a good cause.

And it all boils down to you and you only.

I'm on my guard and I suggested many others to be.

But they are stubborn.

So, let the consequences befall on them as it has

Thrown down upon me.

But I would not say

I told you so.

Instead, I'll help build up their broken spirit

And they will be aware of you as I am right now.

Till then, watch your moves.

But I'm suspecting your walls are no longer strong,

Your other side will be let lose

And the audience will see what kind of actress

You really are off stage.

And I'll be one of the audience.

Beware.

#393 Home Sweet Home

I'm back from Penang and I love it.
Mission 1 was successful.
(Mission 1: Use DSLR camera)
Mission 2 and 3 was an epic failure.
(Mission 2: Get high cuts converse)
(Mission 3: Get nike bottle)
I felt so.... depressed.
But, one out of three is alright, right?
RIGHT! (:

Had so much fun at Penang though.
Hiked through a HUGE jungle
And we ended up at a beautiful beach called
Monkey Beach.
Where all monkeys gather?

Anyways, I'm busy uploading my pictures.
Will update asap (:

RIGHT!

#392 Sun Kiss

I has my new glasses and I look like a dork (:
But who cares?
Cause I don't!

I was like a sick girl today during work.
My nose was killing me and I felt like dying.
Finally,
I went home two hours earlier than I should.
My friend told me to go home and rest.
I skipped lunch cause I was too sick/tired to
Eat/think where to eat and all.
Well, I'm glad to announce to no one that I'm feeling
So much more better than before.

I'm off to Penang tomorrow first thing in the morning.
I'm really looking forward to it
Since we're going to go jungle tracking and to the beach.
More over, I get to play with my
Uncle's DSLR.

Painting my nails with a few layers of
Under coat.
Don't want to break my nails while doing sports
Now do I?

This is kind of the second time I'm excited to go Penang.
My cousin announce that we should do something
Different during this CNY
Since all we did last time was die of boredom.
I can't wait.

Top side,
I'm going to get my wonderful pair of
High cut converse there.
I am exciting myself.
Haha.

Well,
I'm off to watch Naruto.
Considering I haven watch anime for a long time!
Bye (:

I'm loved by myself (:

#391 Met

I'm going to Penang tomorrow.
Recieved my payment yesterday
And it never felt so good to actually count
All the hard earn cash.

I was really excited when I recieved the money.
So many things I wanted to buy flashes before my eyes
Yet I push them aside,
Thinking that I need to repay my mom first.

Woke up with a cranky mood this morning.
Stupid neighbour played oldies in the morning.
And he played it loud.

L-O-U-D

Pisses both me and my another neighbour off.
I mean,
If you want to play music,
I have no objection.
My objection is that you would stop paying it so loudly
And stop replying the damn song
Or even kept on pausing start the whole song over again!?

What a way to wake up. :/

Saw Kadri yesterday on my way to MCD for dinner.
Despite all the things they told me,
Deep down I know he's an alright guy.
After all,
We humans aren't perfect (:

I'm kind of happy to be able to meet my friend though.
Been a while after all.

It's a cold morning and i'm having runny nose.
Going to stop soon.
Blogging again tonight (:

Bye.

#390 Today

Just got home from badminton. Been rather impatient to my mom cause I was hungry. I mean, who doesn't get impatient when their hungry? Not me!

Badminton was a mixture of feelings today. I got frustrated and shit when I missed the shot or something I even accidentally hit my partner in the head!!! (sorry Yi ling) but it was all good, I guess (: but I feel so bad o.o

I made awesome shots while falling (my first time falling when getting a shot) and everyone hooted when the shuttercock went over the net. I couldn't control my smile and I ended up grinning like the Cheshire cat :3

I'm glad I took a day off from work today. It's been stressing me out lately. Don't really like those customers that asks me alot of questions. It scares the hell out of me!!!

Well, I'm off to take my shower. Might continue writing my story later. I hate myself for delaying my 'master piece'.

See ya later, non-existing readers (:

#389 People

It's like I don't know them anymore.
I will list out their names.
I will not apologize if I hurt you or somewhat.
After all, this is my opinion and my thoughts.

Hannah Ong.
I remembered we were quite close when
We both were at form 1.
We talked and laughed at random things.
We then did not friends each other
Due to a stupid rumor which you believed.
Truthfully, I was hurt and shit
But I learnt to let bit by bit go.
I guess.
Right now,
I figured we're just mere strangers to each other.
Not a single nod or smile exchanged to each other
When we passed by each other
When I was in BUD4.

Kitee.
We had blasts at tuition.
We taught each other when we came
To some maths difficulties.
And the distance gradually further and further
And now,
We're nothing but strangers.
We don't contact each other like we used too.
I'm fine with it,
I really am (:
But, you should be more appreciative towards me,
Ya know?
Well, whatever.

Syann.
I was patient towards you.
I've listened to your complaints
Without uttering anything.
You yelled at me,
Screamed at me,
Cried and so on.
But just to let yo know,
My patience weren't that good.
I fucking endure the whole damn thing.
Are you even glad I was there to hear you out?
Fuck no (:
You took me for granted and
I fucking hate it.
Thank you though,
For letting me know
How little you actually appreciated me (:

Shum.
Yes, my temper and patience weren't that well last time.
But holy shit,
Your's too.
Were you aware that I wasn't fond of you last time?
In fact, every single thing you did annoys me (:
Hell yeah it did.
I guess your temper weren't as bad as before.
Congrats (:

Marissa.
I have utterly nothing to say
To or about you.

That's all I feel like ranting about.
You guys are the ones that turned me into...
Me.
And for that, I thank you (:

Nothing to say.

#388 Fool

I've come to realized what a fool I am.
I mean,
I've done so much to make people happy
But somehow,
They just don't realized how much
Out of the fucking way it was for me.
Nope.
They're blind or something.

They just don't realized how much I endure things.
Nope.
They don't know.

FUCK.

And somehow,
Wow.
You know what?
I've lost my words on
HOW TO DESCRIBE UNAPPRECIATIVE PEOPLE.

I'm not going to spend my day off
Thinking bout stupid people like...
YOU.
Yes, you.
 (:

FUCK

#387 New

My new glasses (:
I went to check out my eyes the other day
And my left eye has decreased (:
I feel so excited.
Just when I thought my power has increased,
It decreased.

Both my parents asked me to choose
Full frames for a changes.
Stop wearing half frames and all.
So, I'm like,
Hey, a new look wouldn't hurt, right?

Anyway,
I'm bullshitting you about my new glasses.
It's not this Harry Porter one.
Haha.
It makes my face look rounder.

My dad looks better with the glasses then I do.
Nah,
I'm getting a full framed black glasses.
My parents and sister liked it,
Even the sales girl said it suited me more (:
So, I'm like, uh, alright.
Plus, it makes my face look sharper (:

I'm currently too tired to blog and shit.
Not sure why but ah.

Kitty (:

#386 Sunday

It's a Sunday and everyone's shopping.
Execpt for me and my friend, that is.
We're both working and it's boring like hell.

Currently thinking what to eat for lunch and all.
Gosh,
The shopping mall is huge yet there is nothing
That satisfies my taste buds. :(
I'm a sad person.

Mom told me we're going Penang to look for my
Converse.
"I'm pretty sure Penand have alot since not many people goes there,"
Yeah, right.

My friend told me Pavillion got stock
But my mom refuses to go to KL.
Not for my shoes, not for my jacket.
Living in a sad life.

Oh wells,
Things happen for a reason.
I believe in that. (:

Does your ass feels jealous of the shit that is coming out from your mouth?

Going to check my eyes later.
Yay (:
It has gone really bad and I'm worried.
So, I'm hoping that my sight has improved
And prove myself wrong once and for all!!!
Bwahahahahahahaha.

Going to have late lunch today
Since I had breakfast already.
Thinking of eating bento (:
I saw a couple of kids eating it the other day
And it looks delicious.
YUM.

I'm off.
Going to play games to kill some time (:

Does your ass feels jealous of the shit that is coming out from your mouth?

#385 I Love You

 
So, I'm currently blogging at work.
My boss will come around 12
So a quick update won't hurt... right?

Anyway,
Today is Friday the 13th!
It's a day of bad luck
But a day of good luck for me.

If you're wondering why,
I honestly can't tell you.
It's because I myself don't understand.
I'm such a freak (:

Might be working 7 days a week this week.
But I really want to get my eyes checked.
It's been failing me now a days.
I think my eyesight has increased to the worst.
Damn it.

I'm thinking of getting either red or black frames :3
I bought red shirt, red shorts and going to get
Red converse high cuts (:
Or maybe maroon.
I'm not so sure.

It's so beautiful I could actually cry.
Who wants ankle shoes when they can get high cuts?
Which is so much mroe sexier.
Haha.
I feel so lost (:
But it's so pretty and argh!
I'm pretty bored right now.
Watching some korean music video
That has been repeating since the day I started working.
Why can't they put more English songs!?

By the way,
Last night before sleeping,
I went and talk to my dog
And I watched him eat his bone with interest (:
When I wanted to go the bed,
I said,

Jerry, goodnight! I love you (:

And he stopped chewing his bone
And stared at me
As though he understood what I've said.
Then he dismissed my words and
Continued gnawing his chiken bone.
Silly dog :3

I think I should go off now.
I'm bored and I think I'll play with my phone while
Facebooking or something.

Cheerios (:

Jerry, goodnight! I love you (:

#384 Kissed

I'm finally using the com!
Yay!

Work today is alright.
I had a customer early in the morning.
I messed up the discounts.
Lucky the customer came back and
Paid the right amount of cash. (:
Thank goodness (:

I'm kind of tired.
Going to bed soon.
That's it for tonight, I guess.

Nights, non-existence readers (:


Kissed my dog goodnight (: 

#383 Surprise!

Just a quick update.

Two guy friends of mine texted/whatsapped me! It's so... Unpredictable! I mean, I didn't expect them to contact me or such. I remember I had a teeny tiny crush on both of them last time. Like very tiny.

And I even told one of them before on how i used to like him. But it was a few years after the crushing though. It felt so awkward but he made things better and such (:

Honestly, I was surprised abs I actually smiled to myself when I saw his message. Kind of stupid though. But it was funny, thinking back on the days where I found him cute and adorable (:

My friends didn't support me at that time but it didn't pull me down (: I secretly liked him, even my close friend doesn't know that. Her boyfriend advised me about him but I was thick-skulled. Ah, the good ole times (:

Brings me more joy than ever! Anywho, in going to bed now. Really tired and upset at myself for not being able to play properly during badminton today. Screw it.

Why must you guys be so sweet!?

#382 Not My Luck

So, I'm using my phone to blog for now. Pretty busy with work lately and I have yet the time to go online with the con and all. Gosh, I miss watching my animes :/

On Saturday (070112), I messed up big time. I was minding the store alone since my friend went to have a lunch break with her mom and all. The store was freaking empty the while morning and not a single person walked in!

Out if the blue, three different customers walked in at the same freaking time. I kind of panicked since I'm not so experience and there was three humans at once! I tried my very best to serve them all with a big bright smile. I then made a huge mistake. I gave out rm50 cash vouchers to a customer which I should give too! I'm such a blunder! So, Felicia told my cousin in law about it and she said give it some time and we'll see first.

Anyway, my sister brought my mom and I to subway pyramid on Sunday to find a pair of high cut converse. I'm going to get that for chinese new year. Turns out I could wear children shoes size 3, which is the largest number for them. I was excited since children shoes are much more cheaper compare to adult shoes. Turns out, there weren't anymore size of the color I wanted and I felt sad and all. So, my mom brought me to ou today after work. We went to the shop and they don't have red color anymore which pissed me off. Putting that a side after my mom bought popcorn for me (hehe), we went to Uniqlo to look at some shirts. I saw this dude wearing a red jacket and I told my mom I wanted something like that. Turns out they have it in Uniqlo but in male cut. I didn't mind since it's red and the material is wonderful. No size again. I felt so depressed. I was like, why!?!?!?

By the way, during work, I had an inspiration on my story. So, I guess that is a bonus of the day(?) I'm going to have my bath and sleep now. Really tired from all the walking and such. I walked to work today which is at Ikano :D

Nights (:

#381 Work

It's almost 9 in the morning an I'm feeling a little bit nervous. Currently using my phone to blog.

My right leg isn't getting any better.
I've a feeling it's not the muscle but my vein.
Then again, it might be the muscle.

Went to ikano last night.
Everything was so last minute!
Bought a pair of adorable shoes for work.
Size 5.
My mom was like, are you sure her feet are so small!? Cannot be!
I'm off to prepare for work.
My tummy kept on doing the flips.

Wish me luck!

#380 Letting Out

It was a self-made rainbow.
I had to do it while taking my dog a bath.
Thinking back about the camp,
I'm still miffed by your actions.
Not only you did not apologize
But you had to ruin my once good mood.
If you're pissed off or something,
Keep it to yourself and not be
Too generous to share such negative thing.
Be a bit more selfish on this kind of thing, will ya?

Sure, I did not show it.
I was selfish but I don't care.
I was really tired on the last day though
But I appreciated for having to wait for me for lunch.
Cause normally, I'll be left behind.

I honestly am speechless about you
Therefor, I will put this on a rest...
For now.

WELL,
I've reread my past chapter of my story,
Voices of the Night,
I think it's one of my best one and it
Inspired me to write more.
Haha,
I inspire myself.
What a joke!

I'm off to continue my story (:
Ciao.

Voices of the Night

#379 Camp

I'm back from camp!

Home sweet home, babeh!

I arrived home around 6 in the evening.

I was feeling dead tired and all.

Had a marvelous dinner and went straight to bed.

Totally missed the fireworks which I don't mind much.

Love my games group people (:
They are awesome and very inspiring.
Honestly,
I like the camp.
Yet I was uncomfortable when it came to
The worship/service/ workshop place.
I mean,
I ain't christian, that's for sure
And I'm pretty sure I ain't going to convert to one.
The whole Jesus talk was alright I guess.
I played games on my phone in order to stop
Myself from falling asleep since I'm not good at talks.
The stories they told were interesting
And I did listen.
I heard everything they said even though I don't show it.
But my actions cause misunderstandings.
I'm just too lazy to actually explain things.
After all, only the guilty ones always explains things
When it's not necessarily.

When everyone was praying in tongues,
It scared the shit out of me.
Like seriously.
I was terrified.
I felt like running away every single time they did it.
When everyone went to the front,
I tried to look for an escape to the back because
I was terrified.
I didn't want the...
Holy Spirit
To touch me let alone to come near me.
It felt weird though,
To see people close their eyes
And had their arms open;
To invite the spirit in them.
Some even knelt to the ground and bow their heads,
Some were crying their eyes out
And the whole hall was filled with sobs and gasps.
And that's when the tongue thing starts.
Woah.
I felt my whole body in pain
And I felt like getting far, far away from that place.
I was some what relieved when they stopped.

Anyways,
I met tons of wonderful people (:

Joey Lim was one if them.
She's one awesome/funny/adorable friend.
She's 16 and I'm glad I get to know her (:

I'm going off now,
Extremely tired.
Will come back and blog soon though (:

Home sweet home!