#208 I'm A Sadist

Okay.
Whatever you do.
Don't read this post.
If you want to.
Proceed.
I'm warning you.
It's a really bad post.
But,
I have to let it off my chest.

It's a dream I once had.
Please,
Don't criticize me.
It just came.

In my dream,
I killed a dog,
Not just any dog.
But her dog.

I laughed as I saw the dog skidded one side.
I laughed when I found out it died.
I laughed;
Laughed so harshly.
Laughed like it's the fucking funniest thing that ever happened.
I was happy when everyone was sad.
I was delighted when everyone was heartbroken.
I was excited when they buried the dog.
I was sick.
Sick to the very core.
You know what I did next?
I dug up the dog.
I did.
I brought the dog back to the owner's house.
I placed the dog on the owner's bed.
My eyes was lighted up with mischief when I passed by a mirror.

When the owner's scream rang the whole house,
I couldn't hold back the excitement that was bubbling inside of me.
I took a hair brush nearby.
And rammed her brains in her head.
I hit.
And hit.
And hit.
The owner's blood painted the walls.
All four of them.
Painted it with a beautiful red.
A red where no one else could find.
Yet a red where everyone else has.
I smash her skull open.
Watching in fascination when her brains leak out.
I'm sick.
Sick to the very core.
I then lick her blood.
Lick it off from the brush.
It tasted sweet yet metallic at the same time.
Oh.
It's wonderful.

I tore her room apart.
I pull down the posters,
The paintings.
The pictures.
Everything and anything that was on the wall.
I tore and scratched the wall.
It felt good.
It's good.
In fact,
It was marvelous.

Then,
I woke up.
Even if I'm awake,
I could still feel the excitement in me.
I could still taste the blood.
I shivered.
Wondering what the hell is wrong with me.
Why am I even dreaming about this kind of things.
I'm sick.
Sick to the core.

To everyone whom is reading this post.
Especially the owner I've written down.
I'm sorry.
Sorry for being your friend.
Sorry for being so..
So..
Such a sadist.

I didn't mean to have this dream.

Am I evil?

I have these thoughts and dreams of killing people;

Hurting them.

Hurt them until their cries echo in the depths of hell.

And I was laughing it off.

I think I'm evil.

I am evil.

#207 Gone Down The Drain

That's the birthday present I got Syaa. :)
She told me she liked it.
Welcome Syaa.
Haha.
I got that a month before her birthday.
Cause I thought her birthday was on October. :3

Lemme talk about exams.
I swear this will be the last post about exams.
Unless, of course, results.
That's a different thing.





















Anyways,
I had perdagangan today.
Study like hell.
Memorized every single little thing.
Got the paper.
Stun.
Memory blank.
Gosh.
Everything I studied just gone down the drain.
Goodbye.
Ciao.
Sayonara!

Ciao

#206 This Is It

Days pass;
Kimberly is feeling extremely happy now a days :D
Some of you know why (Syaa, Lai Kwan and Ai Pei)
Ah wells,
Perdagangan is my last paper.
Screw you PJK :D

Ah.
Friday is the last, last day. :D
Weeeeeee!!!
Anyways,
I hope I get good grades this time.
I have to admit I haven been really studying
For my science but it turns out to be
Super
Duper
Trooper(?)
Easy :3
Stressed over nothing.

A side from the fights I constantly have with my mom,
Everything is fine.
More than fine, actually.
Can't wait to go out this Friday
(If Lai Kwan is free though)
There is like so much to tell her.

Well now,
There's not much to say though.
I'm just feeling extremely happy.
That's all :3
Till then!

Super, duper, trooper easy :3

#205 Like Magic

McDonald was not only crowded but noisy too.
They ate in awkward silence as the rest of the world fills in.
She took a sip of her coke and looked everywhere but him.
She stole a glance at him;
Saw that his head was bowed and his hair covered his eyes.
Her heart pounded heavily in her chest.
She stole a glance at him again
And saw him looking at her with a smile on his face.
"So, uh," He said, trying to find a topic to share with her.
Uh is right,
Everything here is so awkward.
She picked a fry and stuck it in her mouth
And she chewed the fry;
Slowly.
She turned her head towards a group of teenagers.
They were all laughing happily,
So not awkwardly.
"Hey," he said and she turned her head,
Swallowing her fry as she did so.

His face was n inch away from hers.
If she lean a little forward,
Their lips would touch.
"Tomato," he said and wiped the corner of her mouth.
She blushed,
Feeling the hot tingle behind her neck.
She cleared her throat,
Muttered an excuse and went out of the building.
Leaving him staring after her.

She ran to the side of the building,
The alley and
She dug her pocket for her phone,
Typed in a number and called.
Rang once,
Twice,
Three times.
"Hello?" a voice answered the phone.
"Hey bitch," she said and grinned.
"Hey yourself. So, wassup?" her voice slurred over the phone.
Bet that her friend just woke up.
"Um. He tried to kiss me!" She blurted out.
Silence.
"Then what the hell are you doing?"
"I don't know okay? I panicked and walked away,"
The sun started the to set.
The street lamp blared into life,
Washing her with it's light.
"Oh my God."
"I know, I screwed up," she said, miserably.
"Go back!"
"I can't!"
"Why?"
"Because I'm here," he said, out of no where.
"Hello? You still there?" her friend asked.
"He's here," she whispered.
He walked towards her,
"Oh my God!? You serious!? HANG UP NOW!"
She offed her phone as he stood in front of her.
"H-how did you find me?"
"Wasn't hard. Could hear your voice when I came out."
Oh.

He reached out and touched her cheek.
She could feel tiny electric on her cheek.
She took a deep breath.
He leaned closer towards her.
Her heart pounded hard on her chest.
He rests his hands on her waist.
His eyes never leave hers as hers never leave his.
He took a daring move and kissed her.
She closed her eyes as his mouth touches hers.
Her legs buckled but he held her tight,
She pressed her body against him,
Feeling like they are merging into one soul.

Finally they pulled apart,
"Ya know," he whispered softly in her ear.
"The tomato thing. I was lying,"
She rests her head on his shoulder as he rests his head on hers.
"I know," she said and could feel his grinning.

Together they embraced under the street lamp,
Beside McDonald's building.
It may seemed normal to you.
But oh, to them,
It's like magic.

Awkward

#204 As Time Flies

Finally,

One week of exams;

Down the drain. :D

I'm kinda happy that history paper has pass.

The thing is,

I'm not sure if I did well in it though :|

God, I suck :(

Ah well.

The pass is the pass. :)

Now the present;

That's something to think of.

Life has been kinda exciting to me now a days :D

I'm sure some of you knows why (Syaa)

Can you feel the love tonight?
It's where we are.

Can you feel the love tonight - Lion King.
It's officially my favorite song.
Some people (Syaa) knows why :3

Man,
Time sure does fly.
I'm not sure what to do with my science.
Obviously I have no time to finish all the chapters.
I mean I'm only at chapter 4 and there are like
8 chapters.
Nice,
Real nice.

I ish have a nice dweam :3
Will post it up later when I have the time.
Ah, it was so sweet.
Still lingers in my mind.
Tah.

Over the week,
Aside from looong exams,
I chatted with Tania and Tanisha (Tisha).
Tisha is crazy bout Adam Lambert.
Well, who isn't?
Adam Lambert.
Ah, you're one gorgeous dude.

Can you feel the love tonight? (I sure can:)

#203 :D

I'm so very happy right now.
He texted me!
Out of the blue. :)
He kinda remembers my birthday too.
So sweet. :E
Ah.
Tips.
I love my friends who gave 'em to me.
Ah, well.
Study.
Can't wait until this stupid exam ends.

Uh.
Had some photoshop fun yesterday.
Destress ya know?
Uh.
I have no clue what else to type
But I'm glad we're talking :)

:D

#202 Kuroshitsuji (Black Butler)

Yay,

My second favorite anime. :D

Let me introduce the main characters:

Ciel Phantomhive (シエル ファントムハイヴ Shieru Fantomuhaivu) 

Is the head of the Phantomhive noble family. 

He runs the Funtom Company, which manufactures toys, sweets, and food. 

His birthday is December 14th, 1875. 

He is also briefly part of the Noah's Ark Circus, 

Where he goes by the stage name Smile (スマイル Sumairu).

Sebastian Michaelis (セバスチャン ミカエリス Sebasuchan Mikaerisu) 

Is the butler of the Phantomhive household. 

He is also briefly part of the Noah's Ark Circus, 

Where he goes by the stage name Black (ブラック Burakku). 

Sebastian often describes himself through the phrase 

"I am one hell of a butler" (私はあくまで執事ですから watashi wa aku made shitsuji desukara). 

The phrase plays on the word "demon" (あくま akuma) 

And the phrase "to the end" (あくまで aku made) which can also mean 

"I am a demon and a butler."

Sebastian. 

Isn't he a hawtie?

Can't read what's beside him?

The Howling by Within Temptation

When we start killing
It's all coming down right now
From the nightmare we've created
I want to be awakened somehow
(Wanna be awakened right now)

Can't wait until my exams are over!
I so badly want to watch this anime.
I'm such a freak, aren't I?

Um.

Accounts paper was kinda hard today. :(

So much for 12 hours intensive tuition.

To top it off,

TOM came today!

Time.

Of .

Month.

Stupid Tom,
I wish he'll go away :D

Gonna study.
Again later.
Ciao.

From the nightmare we created,
I wanna be awaken somehow.

#201 It's Never Too Late

Seems like yesterday I saw your face;
Told me how proud you were
But you walk away.
Hurt by Christina 

Ah,
Been studying a lot but not enough lately.
I have no clue what the hell is in my science textbook.
I've only studied my history up to chapter 5,
Haven even touched my perdagangan,
Have no clue how to do trigonometry in my maths,
And I'm kinda afraid of BM test paper.
I know, I know.
Why am I even in front of the com now instead of studying?
Simple.
No mood.

Gosh,
Sometimes I wish I'm like some
Weird robot girl that can remember everything I've read.
But we can't all have what we want now, can we?

Currently watching Kuroshitsuji.
Also known as Black Butler.
Sebastian is H.O.T!
Ciel is C.U.T.E!
:D
Will post up a picture of it later.
Or maybe the next time I online.
Till then;
Ciao.

Sebastian is H.O.T!

#200 200th Post

Yay!

My 200th post. :)

Somehow,

I find that my blog isn't as happy and cheerful

As I wanted it to be. 

Oh well.

Exams are coming close.

My account tuition teacher is giving me a hard time.

Six hours of accounts tuition with her in two days time.

Talk about intensive.

Having another two more hours with her later.

I'm sure all this intensive tuition will totally pay off.

Speaking of exams,

Terry is having an add math exam tomorrow and Thursday.

101010

Both my mom's and cousin's birthday. :)

HAPPY BURTHDAY YALL!

Got my mom a Nine West handbag

With the price of RM350. o.o

Ah well,

It's a special day :)

Really tired from doing all the house work.
Might have a snooze later. :)
I once told someone
That having a blog is not all about people reading it;
It's about letting out your feelings in it.
It doesn't matter if anyone is reading or not. :)

Happy burthday yall. :)

#199 Lil Emily: Her Great Loss

Lil Emily's hair is in a mess;
She took her knife she love best.
"Goodbye ugly hair,"
Under the moonlight she cuts her hair with care.

Lil Emily's hair is now short,
She suddenly misses her hair she once fought.
Soft locks upon her shoulders are now gone,
She made dollies with them until dawn.

Lil Emily no longer can breathe;
Nor she can feel her heart beat.
Lil Emily no longer grow;
Now can she feel the cold.

Everyday Lil Emily's grief increased;
She can't get over the fact her parents are deceased.
She is now alone in this cruel world.
Oh poor Lil Emily; The undead lil girl.

♥

:)

More coming up I guess.
Hope you enjoyed this one :)
Credits to Marissavoo for the drawing again :)


Poor Lil Emily.

#198 Lil Emily

Lil Emily woke up in a fright,

It was raining heavily in the middle of the night.

Lil Emily had a nightmare,

She found herself wrapped in her own hair.

Lil Emily reached out for her teddy bear;

But all she grasped on was air.

Lil Emily shut her eyes,

Hoping to dream of sweets, toys and butterflies.

But all she saw was;

Monster, giants and evil dwarfs.

"Mommy!" Lil Emily cried as she jumped out of bed,

Lil Emily rushed to find her mom

But she found her dead.

"Daddy!" Lil Emily cried.

She found him in the kitchen with blood and realized he died.

She saw two black sockets,

Where are his eyes?

She rushed out like a speeding rocket.

Lil Emily tripped on a ball;

She banged her head on the wall.

Lil Emily got up and saw

A couple of eyeballs by the door.

Lil Emily howled in despair,

And she shut her eyes;

Hoping it was but a terrible nightmare.

But she knows she's telling lies.

Lightning flashes across the sky;

Lil Emily don't know where to hide.

She wishes she could fly,

And leave this nightmare behind.

Lil Emily wonders who would want to do this;

She'll make them pay with her tiny fists.

Suddenly she saw a man by the pillar,

Could this be her parent's killer?

He was drenched head to toe by the rain,

And he saw Lil Emily looking like she's in pain.

"Emily!" He cried

As he rushed by her side.

Lil Emily saw it was her brother,

Her heart pounded and she felt a lil better.

"Brother, brother, did you see?

What happened to mommy and poor daddy?"

"Yes I did, Lil Emily.

I wonder who would do this to our family."

He reached out to his side

And took out a knife he hide.

"Goodbye dear Emily," He whispered

Down comes the knife and Lil Emily was butchered.

Lil Emily woke up in a fright,

What an unpleasant night!

"Mommy! Daddy!" Lil Emily cried

But no one rushed to her side.

Lil Emily went down to find them;

And she found them lying side by side.

Her brother come out of no where,

As Lil Emily broke down and cried.

She looked upward and saw her brother standing there,

With dry leaves in his hair.

"Brother! Brother! Why!?" Lil Emily yelled.

She wrinkled her nose due to the foul smell.

Lil Emily rushed to hit him,

Oh Lil Emily, how could you be so dim?

He smirked as she ran,

Thinking of an awful way to kill her.

Should he toss her towards a moving fan?

Or maybe a smother her with dog fur?

Should he give her a horrible way to die

By letting her being rapped by another guy?

Lil Emily pounded her fists on his chest,

Crying as she did so.

Killing her straight will be the best,

He's feeling tired and cold.

Maybe he should end this with one strike.

He first gave her hair a little stroke,

He did not put up a fight.

Out came his gun,

As he pointed to Lil Emily's head.

Blowing her brains out will be fun

But the mess on his shirt will not be undone.

He went out of the house,

Bloody and all.

He did not look down as he stepped on a mouse,

He did not see Lil Emily got up from her fall.

He did not hear Lil Emily picked up a knife,

He did not hear her sneak up from behind;

Until he heard a twig snapped.

Could it be the wind?

When he turned around he saw Lil Emily,

Her brains was blown out yet she still lives.

Dear Lil Emily, why walked so quietly?

Is it because of the knives you carry?

Lil Emily came back from the dead;

It wasn't her time to go away.

Lil Emily jumped up and trusts her knives in her brother's head

On his own blood he then lay.

Lil Emily now walks alone.

With no one by her side except her faithful knives.

You'll see her by her parent's gravestone,

The only Lil Emily whom survives.

--

Whew.

Was having my accounts exams when it hit me. :D

Poor undead Lil Emily. :)

Hit me :D

#197 Fear My Sword

Oh gosh.
It's been a very boring week for me
And I actually studied my history.
Don't give me that look.
I study, okay? :3
I'm aiming to get better than last time marks :)

Been pretty depressed lately.
Am not sure why.
Must be the disease I'm having inside me.
How do I currently feel right now?
Well,
I feel like that there is a small tornado inside of me;
Waiting for me to unleashed it.
Bit by bit that is.
Yet,
I feel this small satisfaction inside of me.
A smug smile always appear on my face
When someone does something wrong.
What the hell is wrong with me?
Am I some kind of crazy and weird being?
Who only appear to be happy when others are in pain?
Do I really care what other felt?
Do I really want to help others?
If so, was it out of kindness?
Was it out of compassion?
Or I just want to stir things up a little?
I'm a weirdo.

I'm grateful for Syaa and Lai Kwan
To listen to my complains.
But I feel guilty.
Guilty of burdening them with my stupid matters.

"It's just a small matter," I said.
"If it's small, then why are you depressed?" Lai Kwan shot back.

I don't know, Lai Kwan.
I just don't know.


I'm a weirdo

#196 Hurt Once Too Many Times

I don't know.
Life's being hard on me now.
What should I do?

People tend to think me as annoying.
I think I'm annoying.
Here comes the emo me. Again
God.
I feel like jumping off a freaking building or something.

Ben hurt me with his words today.
I know,
I know.
It's a small matter.
But it hurts ya know?

What did I do to make even Ben
Can't stand me?
What!?
Is it because I'm annoying?
Is it because I'm a bitch?
What is it, damn it!
What!?

If I've known that I'm such a pain in the ass,
I would have been gone for such a long time ago.
Why did I even thought that I could fight it?
This.
Is the sign of defeat
And I hate admit that.

I want to go back to the way it was.
It maybe a little better.
Maybe right now I know my silly little mistakes;
I could fix them.
If only I can go back to the past and fix everything.
Every stupid, silly little mistakes I've made.

Why the hell am I feeling this again!?
WHY!?

Sometimes,
My emotions follows the weather.
Partially the rain.
When it rains,
I feel fucking depressed.
Why?
I have no clue.
I think I have some kind of disease
That makes me feel depressed from time to time for no
Particular reasons.

I hate to admit that.