#492 Lone

How lonely does one gets?

Is lonely a companion?
If so, is it a good companion?
Or is it a bad companion?

Does one really need friends?
Can one just live solely on their own?

#491 Changling

It seems like forever since I've updated my blog.
Haha.

Anyways,
Today.
I've come to realization that I slowly do not care
What others say about me.
True,
I will agonize about it.
But it's only for a while and then I'll stop.
Every single time I put myself in depression about
What others say,
I'll ask myself:
Is it worth it?
Is it worth all the time I spent emoing over something?
Is it worth making myself unhappy?

I realized I've moved on bit by bit.
Small step by small step.

I'm a curious girl
And sometimes my curiosity tend to overcome me.
But now,
I realized that curiosity can sometimes hurt me deep;
Scar me as well as pain me in so many ways.

I'm trying to move on.
I'm trying to block out all the negativity in life.

I see changes in myself.
And I hope I am able to continue to change (:

As I am not here to please anyone but myself.

I'm a curious girl.

#490 My Dog

"i never said you're cruel. you're just thinking it that way. you don't understand how hurtful to hear YOUR mother constantly telling me to give up MY dog. she may be family but she has NO right to do so. he is part of an entirely different family which does not consist of anyone other than the same surname is my family. you  may think it's the best for my dog but have you ever thought how hurtful it is to my dog? have you ever thought that jerry doesn't want to part us? no. he doesnt have the same tongue as us and does not know how to form words like we humans know how to do. he does not know the situation and it is UNFAIR towards him. when we were moving, you know that jerry always sat by the car door and whenever we opened the door, he would jump in? he is not the type that does that but he missed us so. and he is old. he has no friends but my family. how do you think he would want to spend his last days? sedated by chemicals everyday in the pound? feel lost and lonely? or he might even be killed after a week due to his age. well i'm so sorry for misunderstanding your 'good will' but do you even take the time to bathe your dog? do you pick up his poop? no. your mom complains to me about the way you take care of your dog. you have no right to lecture me when YOU have NEVER picked up his poop. yes. you spend time with your dog, im sure of that. no, i dont spend as much time with my dog. that is because i'm allergic to his fur and my mom wouldnt let him in because he tends to shed every now and then. but i take him for walks everyday, i bring him to exercise. i massage him while bathing him every twice a week, i clean his poop every now and then. i took care of the scars he has on his body, i tried my best to cure him. i may scold my dog but then you dont know how much it hurts me to do that. you may have bought books before you got your dog but you dont spend a single day just to bathe him, you dont deeply understand your dog unless you've gone through thick and thin with him. dont put me at your level. im at a higher level than you are."

#489 Stronger

2012 has passed by.

And I have to admit that I've been through tough times

And such.

With the experience of 2012,

I've come to a decision where I'm going to change myself.

I would no longer show as much emotions

And I will keep them bottle up.

Why?

The answer is simple, 

It is my business and not others.

I will not let other people stick their noses in my business

And I will not cry out for help like I did.

No.

I'll revert back to the form 3 me

Where I stood strong on my own beliefs.

I will be strong and I will be tough.

Anyways,

I've began jogging recently and 

Frankly, I have a feeling 

I'll drop the habit soon.

Gosh.

Like a loser I am :(

Oh wells.

I will not say

I hope 2013 will be better.

No.

But I will say,

I hope I'll be stronger.

Haha, you know what?

I kinda found out that whenever I get

Negative emotions and such,

I'm able to write super alot of shit

But when I'm happy and so on.

I don't know what to say.

I'm so freaking weird.

Anywho,

I'm going to bed.

Nights.

I'll be stronger.