#322 Compliments

Honestly, I should be damn happy now that my trails are halfway over.
Yet, I feel nothing but resentment.
Sure, the familiar bitter feeling is coming back once again.
Then again, why should I not be bitter?
I feel...
Like I lack of something...
Not sure what but whatever right?
I don't need to be praised and all that crap
After all,
We're not in a competition.
But how could I?
I have these compete thingy in me,
Like I have to compete with someone I know I would lose too.
Honestly,
I just can't stop.

I'm a sucker when it comes to compliments,
When it comes to praising.
Maybe it's because I rarely receive kind words or something.

Oh wells.
Maybe the others are right.
Maybe I'm an attention seeker.
But I currently don't give a shit (:
Why?
Cause I will not have my walls crumbling down on my feet
Just because I feel... depressed.
No,
Instead, higher, better walls (:
That is what I really need now.

I'm a sucker to compliments

#321 Judge Me

My words can be pained and can be melodious (?)
Judge me as quick as you can for you maybe right.
I'm one immature bitch (:

Judge me.

#320 My Pride

Do you show no gratitude?
The courtesy of how I lower down my pride to just talk to you?
The fact that I don't want things to be awkward?
I highly doubt you notice.
Then again, you never notice anything I've done,
Never once acknowledged the things I've done.
No.
You're stuck in your stupid fantasy world
Where you'd think you've let it go for such a long time ago
But girl, think again.
You're clinging on to it like the thing is
The only way you are able to know who you are.
But,
Somehow,
You're lying to yourself, darling.
You're lying.

You lied to yourself about so many things.
The fact that you think you're happy when you're not.
The fact that you think you're lying to your own heart.
You are one absolutely big liar I've ever laid my eyes on, you know that?
Then again, you don't know.

So much for lowering my pride.
Thank you, for actually letting me know
Pride is the only thing that I must keep up.
So,
Stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about others.
I may have a baby face.
I may have mature way way later than you
But girl.
I never, never lie to myself about my own feelings like you have.
So, think before you act.
Think about other people.
Place them before you and stop lingering in the past.
Come to the present and not moan over and over and over again.

My pride is a wall build so high, you can't see me on the other side.

#319 The Nameless Novel

Honestly, I've never been so enthusiastic about writing a story before.
Until recently.

its like this girl have a mysterious friend since she was 6 yrs old. He talks to her by laying notes in her bedroom. notes like goodmorning, how are you, had a nice sleep last night and so on. Though it may sound creepy but the girl felt grateful for she doesnt have much friends. When she was 7, he begun giving her small gifts like teddy bears and such. The girl has never seen his face before and knows very little about him. Cause he didnt want to reveal himself to her... yet. with a small step, leads to great results. The bond between them tightened and soon in time, she'll learn who/wht he is and all the crap. mostly a mysterious story but with a pinch of romance (:

Honestly, I'm not sure if I've post that up before but what the heck (:
Here is the link to my creation. (:
Without a title though, haha.
Will think up of one soon (:

Enthusiastic

#318 Pop My Bubble

I like the pinkish glow.
And yes, that's a bubble gum.

Sigh, so much has happened and yet so little
Have been done.
I told Jianli that I won't be emo.
Not from that day onward and I intend to keep my promise.
But it's easier said than to be done right?
I feel like pits right now.

Thank you stupid rotten food I ate.
Giving me stomachache and stupid slow internet.
You guys are the greatest (:

It's easier said than to be done.

#317 No Flirt

Yes, I'm rather pissed off and embarrassed of myself.
You know something embarrassing happened to me today.
Really, I felt my face went hot and yeah.
I wished a rather big hole will open up beneath me
And drop me to the depths of hell.

Like seriously.
I felt like dying and killing myself.
It was extremely embarrassing.
And I really hate hate hate hate myself at the moment.

Drop me to the depths of hell.

#316 Jogging

So, I went jogging like the first time in my whole teenage life
At the park.
I brought my dog along, of course,
To motivate myself to jogwalk more.
Anyways,
I did jogged.
For two rounds and I lost my stamina and I started to walk.
It felt really good to sweat all the toxic out.

Anyways, on Friday (29072011),
It was raining and it sucked.
Because it was raining, that is.
Because of the rain, the transporter have to go slow
And to take long ways to avoid stupid jams.
But unfortunately, jams are unavoidable.
So the kids at the back of me were yelling,
Urging aunty to go faster and faster.
And the part I couldn't stand is that they tend to get
Excited, mostly the girls,
And so they started screaming.
I gave them the first warning by glancing at the back.
But I don't think they got the message.
The second time, I couldn't take the screams and yells
So I turned fully around,
Putting my best smile, soft voice and piercing eyes on.
And I said,
"Can you please not yell? Thank you,"
In a very extremely sweet way, of course.
Then they all quite down for a while until
The stupid girl kept on yelling.
So I turned around again and a boy said,
"She's angry,"
And the girl shut up
Which was nothing but a relieve.
And yes, my temper wasn't that great due to the stupid rain.

The look after jogging for two rounds and walking for 8 rounds.

#315 Revenge

Honestly, these past few days were kinda like
Bittersweet ice-cream for me.
Yesterday shall be the last thing I've ever done to help someone.
People whom are not grateful to the fact that I actually
Spent some time listening to how their lives are,
Offering advice to them, trying to cheer them up.
Not even a simple thanks I get from people I've helped,
People I've listened.

Is it that hard?

And when things got better,
They could just push me out of their minds,
Thinking that when they need help,
They would always come looking for me.
Well,
NO MORE!
I now only will help those who needs to be helped.
I will not campur tangan into your
Petty little worries and fights.
Why should I be so emotional over your problems?
You made it, you deal it..

Well, I kinda develop a tiny feeling towards someone.
It was funny and stupid at the same time.
Our conversation maybe short but it was funny
Yet awkward at the same time.
Funny how my heart doesn't pound as fast as it should be,
Does not  like what novels used to describe,
My heart pounded so fast, it felt as though my heart would
Break my ribcage and he will run away with my heart.

It felt normal but adrenaline pumped through my body.
I noticed his smile is rather cute and he looked like
An innocent young boy.
Yet he is quite a gentleman,
A tall one to be exact.
No, I'm not in love,
At least that is what i think I am right now.
Not. In. Love.

Oh,
I loved the fact that he noticed I changed my hairstyle
And on the first day he saw me,
I caught him staring at me.
I'm lucky that I'm not the kind that blushes easily,
It would be embarrassing.

Honestly,
I was in cloud nine when people kept on
Telling me that my hairstyle looks nice.
Compliments like that don't usually come this way.
My friend even said,
You know, you looked prettier today.
My face was the
Hey, you're kidding right?
But my mind was...
In heaven. (:
That was how happy I was.
There was once that when he looked at me,
He said fringe and I honestly could not contain
The happiness blooming inside of me (:
Seemed pretty stupid right?
But I can't help it.

We talked today after school,
Just before I made up my mind to walk to
Shy Wen's house to borrow her phone to call my mom.
He was being insecure, I guess.
He asked me if anyone told me rumors about him
And I honestly don't remember.
He then said,
You know, when there is a new student, 
They often listen to rumors.
And I told him,
I'm not like that.
Because I know how stupid a rumor is.
And he said,
You know, you're kinda cool.
I mean like on the first day of school and yet you
Have alot of friends.
To tell you the truth,
I was bubbling with happiness :3

Really.

I feel like a kid that has been let loose in a candy shop (:

#314 Time

So, I've once again wasted time on not studying but changing my
Hairstyle and playing with liquid eyeliner.
I know I can be such a loser at some times
But what can I do?
I can't focus during day time
Yet I can during night.
I'm weird that way (:

Anyways, I'm thinking of a lullaby for my story
Yet I'm not in the mood at the moment.
Heh.
(:

I can be a loser at some times.

#313 As Time Pass

It's been quite a while since I've blogged.

Let me fill you in.

Last Saturday (16072011),

I went out with Aslene, Yue Hang, Qiann and Xiong to watch

It was awesome but halfway through the movie, 

The three boysclowns were staring at us both,

Just to freak us out.

Those retards.

After the movie, Aslene wanted me to take her picture and so I did (:

The first (top left-hand corner) she was shy.

The second (top right-hand corner) she said she don't want.

The third (bottom left-hand corner) she was furious.

Finally, I did a count down and she gave in. (:

Yesterday, (Friday 22072011)

I had one of the best time of my life

And it was during PJ! :D

We play mixed netball.

Girls and guys mix that is.

It was fun.

Have a big ugly bruise on my left knee

Due to the fact that i fell down.

Then again,

I feel quite a number of times during the game.

My left chest too hurt

When the ball came rushing towards me.

Due the the fact how guys are stronger than us girls,

The power they exert are much greater

Therefore, the force used to stop the ball is BIG.

I'm talking science :D

Currently writing my story.

It's up to chapter 10 already (:

Posting them all up in my [story blog.]

(:

Ball is BIG