#194 Fake A Smile

Twice in a row;

I've been hurt.

Twice in a row;

I've cried my eyes out.

It's kinda been a long time
Since I actually cried in school.

Of all things,

I cried over a small matter.

I can't seem to control my emotions anymore.

Especially, that one.

To tell the truth,

I was really frustrated at that time.

I mean it's a silly game.

But, I have feelings and a limit.

I'm after all

A human.

I tried to act tough just so

People can't see how weak I am inside.

I feel offended easily

Even if people don't really meant it.

I keep things in my heart;

Never really letting other people know how I feel.

I wanted to be listened too

And not be a listener.

I want to be part of everyone's life;

To let them acknowledge me.

I'm here.

I'm not invisible.

I don't want to be popular;

I just want to fit in with everyone else.

I don't want to be left out;

But I want to be unique.

I tried being nice to you;
Yet you've offended me with your words.
If you're reading this,
I'm sorry for being worried and wanting to help you.
It'll never happen again,
I promise.

I've now know
What kind of people that surrounds me.
There are nice;
Mean;
Ungrateful;
Funny;
Selfish;
Two-Faced;
Appreciative;
And a few listeners.

"I can't even open up myself to anybody,
Let alone you."

That hurts.
You know that?
That hurts.
And I doubt you noticed.

I told my mom about it yesterday.
From the thing in school to the text.
I felt embarrassed crying in front of her.
She just smiled;
Pat my shoulder
And hugged me.

"It's okay, Kim. You're changing, I can tell.
Don't let these kind of people pull you down.
Not even her. She doesn't appreciate that you're
Trying to help her. Ignore her. Okay?"

Little Sun crying out for help :(

I cried harder;
Touched by the words she said.


Thanks for listening to me, Mom.


I promise.