#208 I'm A Sadist

Okay.
Whatever you do.
Don't read this post.
If you want to.
Proceed.
I'm warning you.
It's a really bad post.
But,
I have to let it off my chest.

It's a dream I once had.
Please,
Don't criticize me.
It just came.

In my dream,
I killed a dog,
Not just any dog.
But her dog.

I laughed as I saw the dog skidded one side.
I laughed when I found out it died.
I laughed;
Laughed so harshly.
Laughed like it's the fucking funniest thing that ever happened.
I was happy when everyone was sad.
I was delighted when everyone was heartbroken.
I was excited when they buried the dog.
I was sick.
Sick to the very core.
You know what I did next?
I dug up the dog.
I did.
I brought the dog back to the owner's house.
I placed the dog on the owner's bed.
My eyes was lighted up with mischief when I passed by a mirror.

When the owner's scream rang the whole house,
I couldn't hold back the excitement that was bubbling inside of me.
I took a hair brush nearby.
And rammed her brains in her head.
I hit.
And hit.
And hit.
The owner's blood painted the walls.
All four of them.
Painted it with a beautiful red.
A red where no one else could find.
Yet a red where everyone else has.
I smash her skull open.
Watching in fascination when her brains leak out.
I'm sick.
Sick to the very core.
I then lick her blood.
Lick it off from the brush.
It tasted sweet yet metallic at the same time.
Oh.
It's wonderful.

I tore her room apart.
I pull down the posters,
The paintings.
The pictures.
Everything and anything that was on the wall.
I tore and scratched the wall.
It felt good.
It's good.
In fact,
It was marvelous.

Then,
I woke up.
Even if I'm awake,
I could still feel the excitement in me.
I could still taste the blood.
I shivered.
Wondering what the hell is wrong with me.
Why am I even dreaming about this kind of things.
I'm sick.
Sick to the core.

To everyone whom is reading this post.
Especially the owner I've written down.
I'm sorry.
Sorry for being your friend.
Sorry for being so..
So..
Such a sadist.

I didn't mean to have this dream.

Am I evil?

I have these thoughts and dreams of killing people;

Hurting them.

Hurt them until their cries echo in the depths of hell.

And I was laughing it off.

I think I'm evil.

I am evil.