#495 Cruel

everything i mention in this post is based on my opinion;
no point getting your panties wet over my opinions.

honestly speaking,
i think kids are one of the most cruellest human beings ever.

before getting your panties wet or your nipples twisted,
hear me out:
the other day,
my nephew told me point blank in the face that i am fat.

oh no!
i am being really sensitive once again!

it basically hurt my feelings alot as it is so direct.
whereas if an adult were to tell me that,
i will just brush it away and disregard their comments on my body.
however,
what kids tell you straight in the face is just brutal honesty.
without any disregard of your emotions as kids dont know how to tell you properly.
ill give you an example:

mommy, look! why does that lady just sit by the road side asking for money?
she has all of her limbs and she is capable to function properly,
so why is she being so lazy to not work?
why must she beg for money or food?

"you mustn't be lazy then or youll end up by the roadside,
begging for money and not contribute to society."

here are my thoughts:
on the outlook,
it may seem as though the lady was being "lazy"
but what if she has a mental disability?
what if she has a criminal record of theft
and she has served her sentence?
what if she spend 6 months in jail,
serving her wrongdoing?
within that short amount of time,
she might have lost her family members (if she has them)
or she was unable to find a tenant that allows her to rent a place and start over?
what if, am i right?

though it dented my feelings as well as my fucking confidence
(or what is left of it),
i just smiled and walked away.
what else can i do?
yell back at the kid?
that seems childish of me to do so.

after what my nephew commented about me,
my niece asked my aunt the same question.

why is auntie kimberly fat?

i heard it even though she sat across the table.
and as soon as those words left her lips and disappeared into the thin air,
so did my confidence.
so did my reassurance.
my temporary happiness.
what remained was self - conscious,
doubt,
despair,
depression.
what came after was anger,
dark clouds that loomed in front of my some-what bright blue sky,
dark grey sky which eventually became a downpour.

it aint funny nor fucking cute.

oh, kim, she is just a kid. 
you should not take regard of what a kid said.
they will say anything that comes into mind!

exactly.

which means they are just telling or asking what they see.
which in return,
makes it worst.

i then teared up.
not because of the innocent yet hurtful comment that i had recieved from her
but rather the fact that people tend to comment on my body.

kim, you fat already.
kim, you've gained weight.
kim, you should cut back on what you eat.
kim, you should watch your food intake.
kim.
kim.
kim.
kim.
fat.
fat.
fat.
fat.
fat.
fat.

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

it basically crushed my confidence,
as i hear it every day,
continuously.

i get it!
i aint thin!
i aint sexy nor am i hot!
i get it!
im not as pretty as others!
i understand!
enough!
stop it!
just stop it!
please.
stop.